You are the seed of Abraham
The seed of Abraham that didn't strike as a seed does But instead did strike as the serpent does. For thy father who art the devil, a lie did spoke For preaching righteousness while righteousness revoke. A conspiracy against the Most High which each evil doing does perdition call sweetly, And through your deceit you cannot see that fatefilled meeting. You're drawing to a close, the fishes come out to feed That even that faithful sun you beckoned worshipped will make it's final set on your deeds And when sooner you think that your ill conspiracy complete You are laid out upon thy very altar of your sacrifice for the world to see. All your secrets you tried to hide, Turned out from your cold heart from Perditions fright. You say "How dare I be the last to know" When all can see you now exposed. For here comes the First and the Last To answer your past. Your past you tried much to hide Yet True & Faithful's commandments you could not abide (by). But to also trap those who were unknowing Just like you are now slowing. And the seed from the cockatrice you do lend To all the Goya whom you offend. But just as the mother serpent leaves her young Can you now fathom what you have done? Yahuah and Yahushua have always taken care of us. Your image was not of Him and not from the dust. Your betrayal has turned your sick and evil deeds Into a sick and evil reality and your children deceived. By where they come from and what they are, Could they really hear it and be good by far? I have not the identity crisis But if you look in the mirror you may see what the price is. Go to that place which is the true manifestation of the soul. That place you destroyed, that place of old. "Just because I'm dead you think my work won't continue Your church with treasures stolen will be brought down upon you". You took my eyes You took my blood You took my skin You took my Soul You took my memories You destroyed my message You took my home Forfeiting that mercy undeserved Will sin consume and not preserve. The Word was made flesh and dwelt therein There awakened already when false messiah bring We are the proof and cometh out of her through 7 troubles passed Woe the 9th hour is nigh until 6th trumpet blast The harvest begins on an ordinary day For the Saints beareth the path which lit our way Praise be to Yahuah in the name of Yahushua! From a humble servant of Yahushua, Amy.
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Last night I had a dream about my sanctum mirror and it was really big like a gateway which was about 3m high and 1.5m wide in a nicely lit sort of place. Mum and I were trying to find Santa Claus.
A fly stared at me today and made me feel guilty. I told it that I haven't been cruel to them. It was trying to stare me down I think. I'm not perfect. I have done wrong in the past, though I tried to do better. I still feel the presence of the Most High whom I revere even more today. May I be aware of how I am channelling this Force? So that my consciousness may fulfil its destiny in as much peace and harmony through moon consciousness as I can possibly gather? I 'think' that people imitate (internally) earthly animals sometimes without even knowing and sometimes humans and perhaps other creatures that are not yet widely known. I 'think' that all people change consciiousness naturally during the day as this is the natural use of the volition of consciously aware creatures. Sometimes the volition of consciousness changes in pattern and persons undergoing a 'shift' in pattern feel unstable or their changes in consciousness from their last pattern becomes more pronounced as it is out of time with their new pattern- hence, blackouts or psychotic attacks maybe as the extreme sense. If light bends changing from say air to water, then it must also bend with the atmosphere layers and around people as well. When I was into collecting Magic The Gathering cards, at that time, the world looked to me like a graveyard. Now it looks like a library. I think that sound and light are related. Especially through all that contains light and that sound changes through consciousness which effects our sensitivity of light somehow. I think that this personally is one of the things I instinctively feel and quietly studied my entire life. I feel that my levels of awake state consciousness has many channels. The main ones I can feel at the moment are moon consciousness - this is a sea flowing and steady, connected and at 1 feeling. Then there is sun consciousness - a state where I feel very clear headed and awake, fast, snappy, switched on etc. Then there is the dark state - I try to be aware of, but block. I especially try not to assimilate with other peoples dark states but its hard, but I block them on the inside. I also try not to channel other creatures too much because it can become confusing with what I identify with. Then there is an 'X' state (like the variable) part of me that I draw on - this is a channel which is intriguing, genius, sorted, orderly, spontaneous, discreet, punctual, mysterious but still making sense and trustworthy. The thing I liked most about the Rosicrucian Order is hearing about the Essenes which was a wondering tribe of healers from the african continent. Yesteday I remembered when I was a little girl and I use to get smacked or in trouble and I thought that the whole world could see me and I felt like everywhere I went I thought that everyone could see what happened to me and they laughed.
The 'witch' is a concept that I have to get use to. I don't like it when I feel like someone has raided my mind. Aura consciousness when you're in a room, on the phone, on the highway, at the shops etc. It mixes and like pressure, what you put in doesn't necessarily come out of you. A crustacean sheds its shell because it needs to grow. It is soft after it sheds its shell and is vulnerable and needs to hide or it could fall prey to hungry creatures that will find it an easy target. However, after a short period of time it grows bigger and then develops its shell back - this is how I'm feeling. (weakness) Human consciousness boundaries are hard to live by. Body re-sets. Now I can relate to lots of people. Thought, speech and actions allocated. Inner Light is like when you shut your eyes, but it's still not enough. You still want to close your eyes moreso, but it's still not enough. This is an adjustment to your Inner Light.
Lately I'm very conscious of my 'time organism'. I remember when I was psychotic and lying down (in 'mind' pain) my inner eye opened and I could see out of it like my other two eyes. It was red I think and opened vertically maybe, then it closed back up. I don't know how often it opens on a usual basis though. I think maybe when I'm not looking, if that makes sense. (Time organism - meaning my life as a living time organism. Everything in my life adding and then alchemising). Today I felt like I didn't want to wake up properly and that is a good thing because I like that dopiness. I don't have to think really hard and noticed the absence of it while psychotic (less dopamine). Time organism adjusts to new light influx and re-orders time entity - a bit disorientating. It then becomes 'aware' of its 'awake' state and 'changes the 'alchemically' natural state and happens to ALL without them realising it most of the time. Body then adjusts to time organism's awake state and carries on - seems slow and then becomes tuned. One morning when I got up and went to the kitchen I had a strange experience. I smoked a cigerette and my mind state changed but I felt a force lurking within - a good force. I stood at the doorway of the kitchen and watched the cigarette butt float out of my hand over to the ashtray on the sink and my vision was a bit blurry but I'm sure this happened. APRIL 21ST, 2007
4/21/2007 I had a dream that I saw a fish tank with lungs about as big as your hand. They were aquatic-fascinating. I believe that on the human consciousness level whrere everyone is 1(0) they dream 'stuff'' up and as the dream 'floats' they can filter out through other people who are able to channel it and bring it into reality if they want to or even be unaware of this process. In addition to this, the dream must travel through the human consciousness barrier, or like an egg cracks while passing through or remains floating. If it cracks then the dream may 'land' on the wholeness of the human consciousness as broken pieces of the dream or passes through to channel through person/s or remain floating as a whole in the human consciousness. Like refraction in water, the language under the pressure of earthly actuality is perceived as another language, yet the same language in earthly actuality may be understood quite differently than at the height of raised consciousness and might be quite redundant for communicating at raised consciousness levels and limited as everything is more clearer there. For example the sound whole and hole could be one and the same at human consciousness level and two, too and to. We use the same word for different meanings that are spelled differently or we use different meanings for a word that's spelled the same. Spelling is important to me. The problem is many cases people use telepathy especially while communicating without knowing it and by and by change the context of a sentence. As sound travels through they change and could come out as an astral language or in english referring to another aspect of yourself - Instinctively one understands. I think that people channel out into the human consciousness from 'somewhere' and this is a mystery to humans in earthly actuality but maybe not somewhere else. From inside they could be in contact with other 'places' and transfer stuff to human consciousness to be reflected into the earth and everyone watches over everyone. Higher? lower? - maybe equalising. I think that the radiance of a person may infiltrate other beings and even objects and are somehow a part of them (not ownership) if they are somehow 'in tune' with them. I felt like my body is programmed one way how it was in the past, but I have a different understanding now and its really quite noticable because it has other resonating impressions within it and is tuned differently. Now I realise why I have to think of nothing because I can really notice it's 'hidden agenda' or habits, and I put them there myself. Now I wish to reprogram my body and mind somehow and I don't know how. Somehow I maybe have to let the oscillations settle to stillness and then I have to grow in a different way like a branch that's been clipped, it will grow in a slightly different direction but never again where it had been cut off.
I had a bad dream last night about dark forces raping me in my dreams and not being able to wake up. I felt that just before I woke up I heard all this tapping on the window trying to wake me up - like birds. Before I went to sleep I lit my Sanctum and realised that sometimes I discerned the grade of light compared to the light from my two candles and sometimes I felt like my room was either darker or lighter by comparison to the two candles light. It was like the light from the two candles measured the light in my room. Last night, it was darker and when I went to go to sleep, there was this hooded figure beside my bed on the left with a cute big white pet rat.
Also the other night there was a hooded figure - black sort of robes giving me a note (I am not sure if it was the same one or not) and I didn't get to know what was written on it. When I finally woke up from my nightmare, I saw my toes in the reflection of the window and it was my toes turning from white rat toes back into my normal human toes. Last night my brain was burning. I also felt like someone was feeding me some danish pie or something. I had a thought that things are created in the darkness or in secret and then light is brought upon it for exposure when its done. I feel very sad that human vehicles are unable to balance good and evil tendencies equally because of their make up. I feel that my mind is constantly 'Harassed' by outside influence. 'Internal Threshold'. I feel like my Soul bleeds into my body and feeds me. Sometimes I feel that my Inner Light in its form as 'light' only within me picks up everything and automatically tunes to 5 senses (and other senses) but specifically at the moment with 5 senses of the human vehicle, it can't help but to automatically tune to the mundane threshold of the human and worldly threshold. Then, as its awareness permeates through the body it becomes individuated and turns into a different light - one that is me and thus is a consciousness apart but at the mercy of the human threshold. I feel that the levels of consciousness around my forehead is a band or indicator that traps me there (human consciousness or worldly) to experience the contrast between my dreams (conscious awakening) and the realisation of others having their own dreams and people making contact always through this threshold. So the light - everything, projects out through the human body and turns into a seperate state of consciousness, like a glass prism having a light shine through it and spectrum projecting as a result. I feel that it is this spectrum - representing me that wishes to commune or crossover back through the light inside that has to be tuned to human earthly consciousness and this is where invisibility or the use of light frequency matching can come in handy to return to Soul consciousness or Cosmic Consciousness. I also believe that the Inner Light comprehends the order of the alphabet and words in a different way than if it were 'filtered' through the human body where it is a sort of outside but connected consciousness. I feel that the human existence is like a stencil on the Soul and then begins to unfold and when it gets ripped off it leaves a mark there - a time organism of the collective human consciousness yet I wonder if it also stencils in your 'Actual Human Awake Dreams'? I believe this is yet another awakening. Waking up to worldly consciousness 'AAH!!' but bringing human projection through sort of back through the light of worldly consciousness. Like a pin drop falling at a certain point but the energy is kinetically conserved. I remember seeing a translucent tree in my mind while stoned once. It was blue and other colours and only appeared as a strong aura. Please hear me, every time you take a pearl I have to start at zero - it isn't fair. A tree as an analogy of our Soul, is made up of attributes such as the roots, the trunk, the leaves, the fruits or seeds etc and the elements combine to create these parts. Each have a different function and the seed is the only part of the tree that can become another tree. When it is in contact with the Earth it must wait for favourable conditions from the four elements (principles) and light to be able to grow. No balance between elements can cause the seed not to grow and too much light can scorch it maybe and it may be eaten or used for decoration. When it sprouts it becomes the roots. Then it sprouts above the ground (above human and worldly consciousness) and it becomes the tree. It has changed form and now experiences its new form as a tree and eventually it grows seeds or fruit with seeds as a sign of its maturity (or flowers). H is for H bomb, hydrogen. I hope that I am not suffering on another level because if I am, I have to rescue myself. I remember in my psychotic state I saw a Light Being through mum and the radiance reflected off this robe like in the monkey magic series off of the robe of Quan Yin. I remember this part of my dreams is really big and very peaceful. It was like the radiance of the sun but not and remembering this day today made me feel a deep sadness of ever having left this place ever. It just felt so peaceful and the catastrophes which unfolded in my mind afterwards made me feel deep emotional pain as much as my fragile human vehicle could take. I had to try and forget about it so that I don't break down and cry.
Remembering this today makes me feel more like myself again, but I could have forgotten it forever :( At this time in my life when I felt like a Higher Light Being comforted me, I felt that I needed to find this place and when I finally saw it - a glimpse, I broke, snapped, whatevered and I felt like I met my Inner Self. I felt by contrast that I am in the Darkest place and that I moved to the sun or something. Maybe this was the power of the stone. I felt blinded by my Inner Light. I can start today. People should have goals, but more importantly, dreams and to know when to wake up from them. The light (all kinds) is taken for granted, but it is not granted, it is given. 998-999 This morning I felt a bit hurt by my Soul that it may not appreciate me as a human being and that if it were so fast, knowledgeable and wise and everything then how could it possibly appreciate me? That I may be harvested and pried away from my beloved human shell as soon as my moon consciousness begins to speak. As soon as my suspended blue phoenix spirit or mortal personality starts to flicker and wane and blow out, that the only course is straight 'Home'!
My Soul Personality wishes to understand why its beautiful pearl should need to leave or be harvested without having explained to Soul Personality anything. And what of me? The human consciousness is like a net covering me always, but never have I purposefully diverted my gaze from 'The Pearl', only when my senses stung and my brain burns. I needed to recess, but after I return and I try to focus again and again and again. I thought today (in minds eye) of a star in my mind but only in dark and light aspects bright and rising into space like a Phoenix out of the Ark. (N.B. you can probably figure out when it will happen by carefully reading this journal entry...) |
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